Hello Kitty
by Galaxius
Summary: Before: Sasuke and I, we had a system. I loved him and he was indifferent towards me, but we had one thing in common: we liked watching each other undress. That's exactly what happens when you give two hot and bothered, hormonal teenagers bedroom windows that face each other. After: he's the jackass that rejected me, but jealously scares all the guys away. Crazy, huh?
1. Forgive Me If I Don

**::: Hello Kitty :::**

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_ "A man's kiss is his signature"_

**Mae West**

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**Chapter 1: Forgive Me If I Don't Find You Sexy**

**Fate is one uppity-bitch.**

For the lucky ones out there that fate happens to adore for no apparent reason, I've got two words for you: Fuck Off. Seriously, tap out because this isn't the kind of love story that'll make you fit right in, because fate sure thinks I'm shit because It tossed me around like I wasn't worth a stray cat's meow. But, whatever. This is one fucked up life that I live and I've got to confess, I don't really know where to begin, because I sorta _fell_ into a snow-ball effect of one thing after the other, quite literally.

"What are you doing?" I can hear the pride smothering Neji Hyuuga's voice, it taunts me so loudly I snap my head up before I realize how sleepy I am and how bleary my vision is. Hell, I could've at least noticed the long, thin drool trailing from my bottom lip to the desk. "What?"

"That's _my_ question," the stuck up kid who thinks he owns it all says. You'd think for a guy who's fucking nineteen, a whole year older than the rest of us, maturity would be all over him, but I guess he missed that train and decided to take his sweet time walking. His arms are crossed and he throws the teacher a look that just shouts: Really? _I_ have to put up with this?

Snickers and whispers swarm my ears all at once and I swipe the spit from my lip and slowly start to realize that I'm definitely in the wrong here. "Oh, is this your seat?"

"What do you think?" he practically spits, the words hitting my head like he swung a bat at me. Laughter spurs the air, making me feel hot with embarrassment and cold with fear all at once. I try to save some face, you know, butter him up a bit because I know he has one hell of a mean streak. "You look dashing in uniform, Neji," I smile.

He really does. He's sporting the usual black slacks into sleek, black boots with a button up white shirt and dark purple designer tie custom made for his wealthy blood line instead of the dark crimson color the rest of us wears. His blazer must be somewhere else, because it's not on him. I'm checking him out so much, I can hardly see the pretty obvious disdain in his eyes, his features uncharacteristically impatient. I guess if I found out my mom used to be a whore, I'd share the wealth of my anger too.

Before I can grab it back, he snatches my new reading glasses my mom struggled to pay for (it was between groceries or glasses and Ma said glasses were a better investment, though she said it with an empty stomach) and crushes it in his palm, the glass shattering his skin and sending out tiny spurts of blood.

I scrape the floor with the chair as I angrily stand up, "The fuck you do that for? All I did was give you a compliment and-"

He takes the chair, moves me aside, and sits down right as the bell rings. I'm steaming mad, tears threatening to spill, but I wipe them away quickly, not wanting to indulge in his sadistic pleasure of seeing me pained.

"Come on Neji," my voice strains, "That was bullshit and you know so." I don't say much more because the entire class starts mocking me and laughing. I bend over to pick up the shards, but everyone close by is kicking them all over the place. When he crushed it earlier, it broke the black rim frames into three parts. I shove them in my pocket, wondering how on this bitter, cold earth I'm going to explain to my mother that everyone hates me here at Konohagakure Private Academy.

And it's not my fault for it either.

At least not entirely, I think.

In one year Sasuke Uchiha managed to crumble my life in the effortless palms of his gifted hands. Thanks to him dumping me at the end of the summer, the week after I gave him my virginity, I turned into a ruthless bitch to everyone, trying to seem like a bad ass and get him back. I cheated, stole, bargained, blackmailed my way to the top, spending every left over money around the house to support my shopping addiction. Needless to say my mom put an end to that real quick, but no one put me in check quite the way Karin did when Sasuke snatched her up as his girlfriend. Between me and a fly, I wonder which one would die faster in one accurate squish of her hand. Actually, I do know: the fly would stand a far better chance.

It's the first day of school in my senior year and though I've tried to regress to a lonely geek quietly, you can already tell how well it's working out for me, yeah?

"Ino find your seat," Kakashi drones, he stretches lazily, his yawn loud enough to shoot a bear up from hibernation. He points to the board that instructs us with chicken scratch hand writing written in chalk for us to open our textbooks to page 4 and pre-read the chapter on our own before the lesson. I fumble through the slim lines of desks, and find that the last available seat is in the back corner. I groan, praying to never be called to read anything from the board. Long ago, and yet not long enough, I nearly lost my vision in a training accident. I got most of it back, but reading from far distances is near impossible for me. I slouch in the desk, already emotionally exhausted. Everyone close scoots their desks away a little more, not even having the balls to look at me as they do it, though I know it's cause they don't want to be seen anywhere near me.

Everyone except one person moved away from me. The one right next to me. I try to pretend like I'm uninterested at first, but inside I'm bursting with questions of who it might be and why they might want to stay where they are. So, I pretend to drop a pencil and in picking it up, I sneak a look.

My heart skips half a beat, nearly jumping out of my chest.

I bite into my sleeve loudly, trying not to hyperventilate. Sasuke Fucking Uchiha!

No.

_You're being stupid, Ino. You're practically blind when you sneak a peek like that_. _Why would Sasuke want to sit anywhere close to you? _

I look back again, this time pretending to want to know what time it is. Wait a second...

It's a new kid. Pale as hell, with dark hair, and it isn't Sasuke. I feel a bit more comfortable furtively looking at him now and again, until he nonchalantly blurts: "Why do you keep doing that?"

I snap up straight in my seat. Heat and sweat pour all over my face. He didn't even look at me when he said it, but I knew who the question was for. I whisper an apology and stick my nose back in my textbook. Maybe just _one_ more look, this guy looks like he could pass for Sasuke, I swear. When I look at him one more time, he closes his textbook and slowly turns to look at me.

"What is it?"

"Nothing,"

"No, really what gives?"

"_Nothing."_

I don't look at him again until his back is turned on me and he's leaving for his next class. I exaggerate putting my notebooks and pencils and binder into my backpack with meticulous grace, and stand up. He turns around right as my eyes lift to him.

I attempt to walk past him, you know, like I wasn't trying to carve his face into my memory for later discussions with one of my very few friends: Choji. It isn't so much a mutual friendship than me inviting him over for dinner then handing him day old rice as we "talk", well more like I do all the talking. Good times, I know.

New kid's waiting with infinite patience at the door.

"What?" it was my turn to ask when he blocks my way.

"What, what?"

"What do you mean 'what, what?' let me through," I try to move past him, but he blocks the path again. Great, now I'm going to be late for second period. I sigh. "Look, sorry that I kept sneaking looks at the clock past your head, guy. I was bored."

"The clock huh?" he says disbelievingly. He's really very pale. "Or my roguish good looks?"

Whaaaaaat...

"Right, excuse me," I try again to move past him and he let's me through. I hate him for it, because this time I bump into _another_ person who looks just like Sasuke. Only because it is.

I gulp loudly, the wind pushing my hair back for clear view of a clearly annoyed Sasuke. I grab New Guy's hand and say, "I'll show you around now."

I'm glad he didn't say he didn't ask me to, he just answers his own question from before. "Yep, I knew it was my looks."

I don't turn around or let him go until the corner and then I rush to my class with him standing in the wind, like an idiot I bet. I feel a bit sorry for the narcissist, just ditching him like that. Oh, well-

"Does everyone run like this to class?" he asks, keeping up with my fast pace in the halls.

I skid to a stop. I look back to see other kids enter class rooms. No pale guy in sight until he waves his hand in front of my face. "What did you? How did-why?" I finally decide on asking.

"Well you _said_ you'd show me around-show me, Ino."

"How'd you know my name?" I peer closely, wondering if this guy's some sorta freak or what.

"Kakashi said it, plus everyone talks about _you._"

I groan, already hearing the whispers fill my mind. I still just have to know, "What'd they tell you?"

"You really want to know?" he looks surprised.

"Yeah, sure, out with it." I rush him.

Then he tells me. "Well, you a ho."

Whaaaaaaat...?

It takes me a minute for my mind to catch up with the way he just said it. Most people are more vulgar or more subtle, never so straight forward, the words smacked my heart like a slap.

"I don't believe it though," he said. "You seem too geeky to be a ho."

"Thanks?" the bittersweet comment left me with half a mind to just ditch second period. The moment I turn around, I hear Kurenai's booming voice ask:

"You coming or not?"

Her voice doesn't give me a choice. Pursing my lips and swiveling on my feet, I turn to face him, meek and wincing, "Not?"

"Get in here, Ino," her hands are on her hip. "Now."

I sigh, slumping my shoulders as I give Sai a small wave and enter the class. Every available pair of eyes is on me and though I try to pretend like I can't see them, I sure can hear them, whispering heatedly about me.

"So who was that boy in the hall?" Kurenai asked with narrowed, accusing eyes.

I nearly faint. Really, bitch? "A new kid," I growl.

"More like a new customer," someone says and the class laughs.

"Well, I won't have you ditching my class-"

"I was showing him around," I take my seat and lucky for me it's right up close and personal to the teacher's desk. I'm a will away from groaning.

"Don't interrupt me again, Yamanaka, that is if you mean to pass this class."

Did she just _threaten_ me? I roll up my sleeves, my old self crawling to the surface, and I adorn a cocky smile on my face. "Interrupt you, Kurenai, never."

"That's Kurenai-sensei to you, Yamanaka."

"Right..." I roll my eyes, remembering clearly how Kurenai viciously tried to fail me last year, but I managed to drop the class before the final grade. And now I'm re-taking it.

The ball inside her jaw pushes, and her eyes grow hard. "You'd be wise to not test my anger, girl."

"And you'd be_ wiser_ to start class. You've skinned off three minutes already, clocks ticking, and our time is so valuable." I wink at her. I feel my old self almost completely back, but she's quicker to crush it.

"Get out."

"Aw, but I thought you told me to get in. Make up your mind, Ku-"

"You're bound to give him head anyway, might as well do it now, right Ino?"

And just like that. Before I can blink, the more confident me runs away and ducks for cover. A chorus of amusement erupts in the room and I'm sitting there feeling lost in what she had just to said to me.

Fuck you. Fuck you lady.

I'm clinging on the shadow of my old self and I smirk. "You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Ku-re-nai-_sen-sei?"_ I wink and flash my tongue over my lips, before grabbing my things and heading out, leaving the class in want of a verbal death match and Kurenai shaking her fists in anger.

"Shut up, all of you," Kurenai's voice trails after me and I'm scrambling to find air.

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By lunch time I'm winded from crying in the bathroom for so long when I try to reapply my make up it looks blotchy and messy. So I ditch my mascara in my makeup purse and just stick with red lip gloss and head out to the roof, knowing gossip had spread from my head butt with Kurenai. It never ceases to shock me how distorted it gets by the time Choji lazily, absent mindedly fills me in with a mouth full of a chicken-tuna sub sandwich.

"They say that you wrestled Kurenai, ripping each others clothes," he chews. I try to hold in my revolt at his terrible manners, but I need to keep up with my own gossip, it's the responsible thing to do. Over and over again I try to ignore it and let it not bother me until something explodes in my face that I should've been up-to-date on.

"And I heard you had a fight with Neji cuz he didn't want you as a girlfriend," Choji spews, licking his fingers and drinking his soda casually.

"What? It had nothing to do with that," I tell him, feeling my glasses broken to bits in my pocket.

"So you _did_ have a fight with him?" he's interested now. He knows it's the truth when it's from me.

"Not really, more like a beat-down from His Highness. Embarrassment to the max to be perfectly accurate." Thinking about it hurts my head and the sun makes me want to cry again, so I rush my hand through my hair and blink it away.

"That sucks," he sticks fried carrots in his mouth, "Does he still hate you from last year?"

"What do you think, Cho?" I whip out the left over pieces of my new glasses, already feeling my stomach turn from thinking of how I'd explain it to Mom.

"Rough," he swallows the carrots down with more soda. His fifteen minutes with me finished quicker than I expected and with a single, "See you later" he's gone to hang out with Shikamaru. Even before Sasuke threw me away, Shikamaru was bitterly angry with me no matter what I did. He never showed up to training after a random day and refused to speak with me going on two years now.

I shrug.

"What are you shrugging about?"

I nearly lose my breath. Damn that kid looks so much like He Who Must Never Be Named Uchiha.

"What?"

"What me? What you, what're you shrugging for?"

"Well I wasn't shrugging for you," I say, pretending to have the utmost interest in strawberry milk and apple sauce. "What do you want?"

"To stop being confused with some Sasuke kid, it's annoying."

Did...did he read my thoughts just now?

I try to play it cool, simple. "What do you mean?"

"Well every time I try to navigate the halls it's 'Hey, Sasuke' this and 'Oi! Uchiha-kun' that. I know no one knows me, but still," he plants his ass right next to mine, throwing his legs through the rail poles to swing his legs with me, resting his forearm on the horizontal rail and resting his cheek on his arms to look at me. "How's your first day gone?"

"Damn, it's only the first day?" I groan. I try to lie to him, "Well, it's been-"

A wave of cold washes over me, and I can hear a slosh of water slap the ground before a bucket hits the back of my head. "_Shiiit!" _

I grope the back of my head, swerving up to stand when I'm pushed against the rail.

"Oh, was that you, Ino-chan? I thought it was a killer bear," Karin laughs and everyone is dropping whatever they're doing to form a circle. I want to rip out her hair and choke her with it.

"You've always been one dumb motherfucker," I say under my breath.

"What was that?" Karin's eyes glowered.

"Nothing," I smile, wringing my wet shirt with two hands. "It's all good, Karin."

She looks roared up to fight with me, but I move past her and through the crowd booing me. I want to rip her face off, but I already promised myself to try and be as invisible as possible and see if that works.

"What was that all about?" the new kid runs to catch up with me.

"I'm so popular, everyone wants of piece of me, can't you tell?" my voice breaks and a small sob escapes me. I expect him to get lost and not associate himself with me while he still can. He touches my shoulder sympathetically. "It's okay, Ino."

"What's your name, anyhow?" I change the subject.

"Sai."

"Sai what?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"Huh," _weirdo._

"So," he popped his hands in his pockets. "Are we ever going to grab lunch or what?"

I have to warn him. It's the right thing to do. "If you ever want to fit in here, I wouldn't be seen with me, if I were you."

"What'll happen if I do? Get splashed with water?" He laughed, like it was nothing. Karin totally degraded me earlier and this guy's making it seem like all she did was pinch the shit out of me.

"Something like that," I say with gritted teeth.

"I'll survive, Ino," he smiles. I could see me and him being best friends, the kind that finishes each other's sentences. It feels good to know there's a chance.

"You've been warned," I smile back, nudging his shoulder with mine.

"_Oh, I'm so scared,"_ he jokes, whipping off his backpack to pull out his lunch. I do the same, hoping that my sandwich isn't damp from the water being poured on it. Sure enough, the plastic wrap couldn't save the wheat bread from being all soggy. I knew I should've waited before taking it out of my backpack.

"Here, I always split mine into triangles, you can have my triangle," he passes me half a sandwich and I take it gratefully thanking him. We sit in the hallway and watch every passerby's eyes fall on us and whisper if they have someone next to them. It's refreshing to have Sai next to me, to not have to go it alone, and I start to wonder if he's really real or just an imaginary friend.

I shake my head. Just because he doesn't have a last name, doesn't make him any less real. Either way, I'm having the realest conversation I've had in the longest time. So far Choji's conversations have left me with an appetite for real companionship, never satisfied with only half of his attention.

"Here," Sai says, digging in his pocket.

"Hm?"

He pulls out three crisp hundred dollar bills. My eyes widen and I look around wildly, hoping no one saw and that he was paying me for...something. "Put that away," I hiss, angry. I stand up and prepare to leave, but he says: "It's for your glasses."

I whip around, "I don't need your charity." My voice is low and cold.

He blinks at me, "But Neji destroyed them..."

"So?" I cross my arms. "I'll buy another." _Not likely, Ma's gonna kill me before that ever happens. Just take it, stupid._

"Oh, really?" his eyes travel to my worn, old shoes. I twist around a bit, nervous under his eyes. I'm also wearing an old uniform with a stain on the tip of the collar that just refuses to be bleached out. "Here, just take it."

"Look, kid. I. Don't. Want. It." Biggest lie ever.

"Suit yourself," he pockets the money. "Just trying to be nice."

"I know how this works, okay? I practically invented it. Next thing I know, you'll say I owe you and you own me and it'll be this snowball effect of disaster."

"I wouldn't do that to you." He tells me softly. "I wouldn't do that to anyone. We're friends, Ino, aren't we?"

"Friends?" I scoff. "I haven't known you for half a day!"

He blinks stupidly again and I want to hit him. I'm just so angry at today, I can't stop myself from taking it out on him. I blow a sigh. "Oh, I can't stay mad at you-" I want to add: "because it's not your fault" but he cuts me off.

"I know."

"You know?" I ask. "You know what?"

"You're only into me because of my fantastically favorable genes, my outstanding looks," he says. The nerve of that narcissist. "It's okay if you're too shy to tell me."

I laugh so hard I end up snorting and gripping his shoulder for balance. "For-forgive me if I don't find you sexy, kid."

And just like that he laughs too and our conversation continues.

Sai.

Sai talks of conspiracies, other villages, love and loss, friendship, and just about any topic that could be thrown from a textbook, he knows it all. We fall into debates and agreement easily and even when the bell rings, we're talking all the way to fourth period, our conversation still hot with the latest argument.

"Look, Konoha would fall apart without leadership, without a figure head-we wouldn't be a complete nation." I argue.

"I'm just saying the old lady's practically invisible. She's only a name. Have you ever seen her out of office, huh? I mean, who actually knows what Tsunade-sama, actually does? Not me, not you."

"Whatever, all I know is-"

He kisses me.

When he pulls away, I feel my lips and crease my eyebrows. "The hell was that about?"

"I gotta go to class, pick you up from here and we'll walk to gym together?" his back is almost turned to me, and he waves, before racing to his next class.

"Huh," I cluck my tongue and just as I step into class, someone else is trying to come in at the same time.

"Sorry, about...that." I say, and Sasuke just walks into the classroom, not even apologizing or taking my apology.

Then it dawns on me.

Wait...I have Offense/Defense class with Sasuke Uchiha?

Shitfucksonofabitchramdammit.

Dear Fate: _WHY ME?_

_Why?  
_

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**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think ;)**

**Lots of love**

**Phoenix.**


	2. The Charity Case

**A/N: I don't own Naruto. Thank you so much for your reviews!  
**

**::: Hello Kitty :::**

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_The only way to live for me, is to live dangerously._**  
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**Chapter Two:**_ The Charity Case  
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**"You know all he wants is to get laid, right?"** Choji makes a handful of chips disappear and I want to crush them in his throat and throttle him.

"Sai's not like that."

Choji's eyebrows raise. "Oh, you've known him before, then?"

"Something like that," I lie at first, then blurt: "Just a day."

"Then he wants to get laid."

"Shut up," I cross my arms, "how exactly do _you, _of all people, know what a guy like Sai wants from me?"

"Everyone wants to lay you, Ino," Choji says nonchalantly. "I've thought about it a few times, to be honest."

I can't hurt him by slapping him, his plump skin would just move like Jello-O and absorb it all. So I hit him where it hurts and throw his bag of chips across the room, splattering a few to bits. "Sai is not like you guys, he's a real person."

He looks angry in his eyes and wears a tight frown, but it's hard to tell with his fat cheeks. "I was just telling the truth," he walks across my room to pick up stray chips and pop them in his mouth.

"Oh, yeah? Well you're wrong."

His thin slits of eyes glare. "Name three _guys_ that you and I know for a fact doesn't want to lay you."

I shift in my chair, no names scream to be called and or fight to roll out easily. A pregnant silence waits over the room and before it drags on to long, I say: "Shikamaru for starters."

I'm not aiming for most attractive. Nowadays I try my best to be as bland as possible, my hair down and straight with no volume or waves (not like we can afford hair products) and very little make up other than mascara and dark pink lipstick that I share with my mom until she can spare the money for more.

Choji blows a whistle. "That's for sure."

I want to ask him why Shikamaru hates me, but every time I ask him, he just shrugs and looks away. I've tried bribing it out of him, but it's never worked, he's far more loyal to Shikamaru than he is to me. "Okay, next person."

"Sasuke Uchiha most definitely does not want to lay me." I say with a sharp twist of anger in my gut.

"That doesn't count, he's already laid you," Choji takes a huge swig of soda and burps. "Someone else."

"Well...how am I supposed to know? I'm not a guy." I think harder, crossing off all the people I know I've slept with, which unfortunately is several. I shudder when I say: "Shino."

"Abarame? Huh," Choji clucks his tongue. He starts on a new bag of chips, though the one he's munching isn't even through. "I'll take it. Last one."

"Sai."

"If you say so," Choji sighs, and stuffs his mouth again with salty, dry chips, "but tell me...doesn't he look just like Sasuke?"

"N-no," I lie. I pretend to be interested in cleaning up my basic room, tucking in the ends of my bed and shutting all four drawers of my dresser. "Why, do you think so?"

"I guess," Choji swallows his food and sighs. "Look, I have to make it to Shikamaru's job before it closes. I have a craving for cranberry juice."

I want to say he hasn't been here for a half hour, also Shika's job closes at eight and it's only three, but I don't want to admit to myself how little my only friend cares for me. Come to think of it, when I was bawling my eyes out the day Sasuke left me, my pillow was the only thing I bit on and clutched as I wept. Choji acted as my five-minute therapist and only succeeded in making me feel worse about giving my virginity up to an ass like him and how predictable that was.

"Alright, later days then."

I collapse onto my bed as my first day of school rampages over my mind. My uniform dried by the end of the day, but it was hella embarrassing going class to class where I had to use my notebook to sit on so I wouldn't wet the polished wood seat. I can hear Ma saying good-bye to Choji downstairs and I head off to sleep so she wouldn't bring up my demolished glasses.

I groan. I still have to tell her about it and now I'm kicking myself for not taking up Sai's offer.

Fuck. My. Life.

* * *

**Tomorrow Morning. **

"You gonna get up or what?" Ma taps my forehead. Groggy and sleepy, I half sit up mumbling for what time it is when she sticks a spoonful of oatmeal on in my mouth. I nearly spit out the shit. "What's in that?"

"I added in raisins, nuts, and a pinch of soy sauce for that salty taste to combat all the sugar I spooned in," she sits cross legged on my bed, tasting the gruel for herself. She shrugs, though I catch her shudder and puke a bit in her mouth. "I didn't want to wake you up last night because it looked like you got your ass kicked. You've never slept so long, so what's up?"

I hate this. I hate the Nice-I'm-Still-A-Teenager Ma. She never lasts. And she's the one who usually pops me on the mouth for messing up. Which considering my glasses, I did big time messing up. "Those raisins were expired and the nuts were stale."

"I know," she grins, "I got 'em for free."

"Whatever." I turn over in my bed, pulling my pillows up.

"Huh," Ma clicks her tongue. "You really don't know you're late for school, do you?"

I throw off my sheets and they land over Ma. I scramble to snatch my alarm clock before I remember we sold it in a garage sale to pay for the electric bill. I grab her cell phone and stare at the blaring numbers: **7:34**.

Damn you Fate!

I can already hear: "_Oh, _I_ know why Ino's late *suck* *suck*_" and the like in my ears. They say it below their breath like it stops the victim from hearing it. I take in a deep breath and ask, "Is your time fast?"

"No, actually come to think of it, it's about twenty minutes slow." Ma says, touching her bottom lip. I struggle not to curse because that would only invite trouble so I throw off my pajamas, not expecting a ride to school because we don't have one, and trade it for a wrinkly-but dry-uniform. _Fuck, fuck, FUCK._

I'm hopping on one shoe when Mrs. Uchiha comes out of her sleek, fancy car carrying a basket full of flowers. "Morning, Ino, fine sky we have today, huh? Finally, a sun!"

_Can't you see I can't talk?_ "Hello, Mrs. Uchiha-"

"Where are you running to dear," she asks nicely, though I want to snatch the bike leaning on her porch and ride it to school. Although I've never really ridden a bike before. I could learn...I think.

"School, I'm late." I break it to her, jogging in one place.

"Late?" she checks her watch. "Honey, it's day light savings. Didn't you set your clock back an hour?"

Whaaaaaaaatttt...

Damn her, I bet Ma knew.

I crack my knuckles. "You don't say." I throw a look at the window and Ma has a mischievous look in her cerulean colored eyes, and a smirk on her face. She waves politely and I wish I could extend my arm, smash a fist through a window, and drag her down.

"Actually, sweetie, if you want a ride I was just about to tell Sasuke I'm home and drive him to school. I could drive you too, did you eat breakfast?"

Ride. To school. With Sasuke. Doesn't compute in my mind coherently together, what she said gets turned into "Actually, sweetie, I'm going to take you to Hell now, where Sasuke will torture you." That's it. That's all.

"Um...no I didn't eat," I say truthfully, knowing my lies will go nowhere with her, "but I'm not hungry."

She has her dictator/sweetheart smile on. "Of course you are, go on inside."

I haven't been inside the gigantic Uchiha Manor that makes my house seem like the outdoor trash bin since, well...you know...

This is the only time I remember refusing Mrs. Uchiha. "Well, actually, I have a...a thing...to do, like a project, but my teacher's helping me...um-"

"Get inside, please," she smiles her frightening smile, this time tighter. I open my mouth and a light hand guides me towards the house. I almost get away with thinking I could eat up quickly without running into Sir HeartBreaker, but the moment I step in he looks like he's suddenly struck by a hernia and drops his spoon in the bowl.

He gives his mom a: "What the hell?" look, and she returns it with a glare that dares him to say a word about it. She tells me to grab a seat and heads into the kitchen area, leaving Sasuke and I alone. I expect silence, so I'm surprised when he talks first.

"My mother thinks you're a charity case, that's the only reason why you're here."

"Good to know." _Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. _"My mother thinks you're gay."

He blinks at me. "_Has she seen Karin_?" I bet he's dying to say, but he just gives off this usual apathetic, "Hn."

Mrs. Uchiha puts a bowl of pickled rice steaming from the stove along with apple juice in front of me. I hate acidic food and drinks, but I thank her and wait for her to disappear before asking. "Are you gay Sasuke?"

He looks irritated. "Does it make me gay because I'm in no way attracted to you, or just smart?" He tents his fingers together. "You know, something told me you'd turn into a prostitute without me."

My mind flirted with premeditated murder."Whatever."

"Tell me something," he leans in, a wicked smile on his lips, "are you diseased now?"

"_Diseased_?-" I catch his drift when he just smirks.

I fight desperately to keep tears from coming into my eyes. Fuck, I'm so frustrated and panicked I just want to scream and cry. But not in front of this prick, not on his life. "I hate you," I hiss.

"Couldn't be more mutual," he replies.

Silence covers the air and I don't even touch my food.

"Is something wrong, Ino?" Mrs. Uchiha comes back and examines my food. "Do you not like pickles? You can save it for lunch, I'll grab some Tupperware."

"No, it's not that, I'm just...really not that hungry today," I don't meet Sasuke's eyes and he says nothing, but I can hear the whispers: _he's right, you're a charity case. _I stand up, the lie falling out of my mouth quickly. "I'm alright. I'll just buy lunch later, or something." I flat broke.

"You sure, sweetie?"

"Positive, and if you don't mind, I'll just walk to school."

I don't wait for her answer, I stand up to leave, trying to erase the bizarre, detached morning from my mind.

"Hold it." Mrs. Uchiha says. I turn around to face her and she has her keys in one hand and Sasuke's wrist in the other. "I'll drive you to school, alright?"

Funny, her question sounds more like an order. Though I get shotgun and Sasuke sits in the back, the tension is tangible in the air, though Mrs. Uchiha's trying to revive a dead conversation with, "How's school going for you two?" and the works of unbearable awkwardness. When we arrive, I thank her gratefully, but not as much for the ride as for her dropping me off right when Sai's walking up the steps.

"Sai!" I call, nearly tripping up the stairs to catch up with him. He makes it to the top before turning around and smiling, "Hey...you...?"

I stare at him. "What?"

"Damn," he spits. He looks to be thinking seriously, nervously.

You've got to be kidding me...fucking joking, right?

He winces at me, "Sakur-no, no, that's not you. Fuck. I'm sorry, Ino. Ino! Ino that was it! Hey, Ino."

I walk past him, hurt and angry, when he catches my arm. I turn around to slap him, more infuriated that I thought I could actually make and hold a friend, but then I see him grin.

"I was just playing, hell, Ino you look like you wanted me to castrate me with your nails," he whistles.

"Aw fuck you, man," I growl, trying to shake him off, but he grabs my other arm. My back is to him, both of my arms in his grip, and he pulls me in for a hug. I don't even think of giving in before hands are separating us.

"That's enough, you two," a sharp and too familiar voice barks.

The hell...Mrs. Uchiha has one hand on Sai's chest and another on my shoulder, whipping me around. Before I can ask her anything, she shoves a five dollar bill at me. "You forgot your lunch money, honey." Her eyes flashes with a dare for me to contradict her. I look around wildly, what the hell's going on? "Um...thanks?"

"Is-is this your mom?" Sai asks, and I'm glad he's also at a loss for how to react. He settles for a small chuckle. "I see where you get your beauty-"

"Cut the crap," Mrs. Uchiha hisses. She's the second person to grab me and pulls me aside. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Doing?" I look from side to side. "Doing what?"

"That ape was all over you! Are you trying to let him ruin your romantic future?" she asks.

My nonexistent romantic present and if the present is an indication, my nonexistent romantic future? Right. That's something well worth protecting. It makes the same amount of sense as guarding air in an open field selfishly.

"What?" I say, forcing myself to be polite as Sai teeters back and forth on his feet, watching us whisper.

"Shit, Sasuke!" she says, and my eye brows furrow until I realize how literal she was being.

Sasuke Uchiha is looking over at us staring blankly at his mother. Karin is next to him pointing us out.

"What's up?" Mrs. Uchiha waves at the two banes of my existence, then turns back to me with her hands on both of my shoulders. "Remember what I told you."

Remember? I barely understood-

She stands up perfectly straight, says goodbye and her sharp stilettos go _click-clack-click-clack_ again as she goes down the steps.

I'm still trying to forget that moment.

It helps that an unexpected cold breeze slithers across me. For once I'm grateful for a bad hair day, I was smart enough to tuck a brush in my backpack and just slip on a hat. I look over back at Sasuke and he and Karin are hand in hand walking away, almost to the door of the school. We've still got fifteen minutes before warning bells start blaring, so I pop a seat on one of the stairs.

"Wow, is it me or was that weird?" Sai says. "Good news is your mother's super hot."

"Shut up." I say, but I don't bother to tell him that's not my mom. Mrs. Uchiha never leaves her house without wearing something unnecessarily expensive while my mom shops at retro (and not in the good sense) thrift stores and only buys generic food. If Sai thought that image of luxury was my mother, that was fine by me. I try not to think about the day he'd meet my real mom if we ever became friends like that.

_Anyways..._

"C-can I ask you a question?" I tuck my cold hands in my pocket to warm them. For what's supposed to be the end of summer, it's uncharacteristically chilly out today. I pull my old. red hat with a white bunny tail on top over my head more, my hair whipping my face.

Silence.

"Sai, I asked if I could ask you a question," I repeat.

He sighs, "I'll try my best to dodge it."

"Gee, thanks." I say flatly. I open my mouth to talk, but he cuts me off.

"It's nothing, it's just that sometimes I randomly don't like questions."

"You're so normal." I say in a cross between awe at his eccentricity and sarcasm.

"Plus you didn't even answer my question. If you're too good to answer questions-"

"What question?" I ask, sensing real irritation from him.

"I _asked _you if it was just me or what happened with your mom was weird," he tells me, "And you just ignored it."

What? "Yeah, yeah it was weird. I thought so too, happy?" this kid...

He smiles at me genuinely. "Yup. That's all I ask, is to be treated like any other female."

"_Huh?_ Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! _What?_ Y-you-you're a-a-"

He laughs, shaking his head, "You are just too easy to target today," he keeps laughing.

"Oh fuck off." I stand up and he just keeps slapping his knees and mimicking me in an outrageously high voice. "_Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! y-y-y-y-y-y-you're a-a-a-a!"_

It takes one good kick to his back to make it stop. He nurses his wound with a pout, "Hell, what were you going for? My spine?"

"Something like that." I roll my eyes, "Now are you done?"

"Is that the question you asked to ask me from before?"

"What? No that was something else."

"Ask me now."

"Just answer my latest question-"

"No, I like my questions in _order_," he growls like it's a big deal. I'm starting to realize what a pain in the ass he is. I sigh, "I don't even remember."

"Oh, well then yeah."

"Yeah, what?"

"Yeah I'm done. You asked me if I was done."

My eye twitches. "I can never have a normal conversation with you, can I?"

"What's with all these questions? Are question marks floating in your head dying to get out or what? Hey, I just asked a couple questions myself," he looks pleased.

I almost ask him, "Are you crazy? No, really, are you loopy?" but then I realize that would be two questions in a row. I suck in my cheeks. "Come on, let's get to class. He just smiles, knowing something I don't.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm just really good at getting people to stop asking me questions." He says in a regular voice.

_Wow, I'm such a dipshit, how'd I fall for that one?_ I stare at him, before breaking to a laugh. "Are you now?"

"Fuck you," he smiles.

"No, answer my question, I-" I start and I can only blink before a entire public garbage load makes its way to my uniform and face. I try to dodge it, but nearly fall down the stairs, trying to grab Sai who jumped out of the way. A rotten pear falls in my mouth with tiny pieces of paper and I'm choking, trying to wipe the remains of slop from my face at the same time trying to catch my balance.

"_Are you getting this, Tamaki?"_

Oh no...I please no..._please._

_"Fucking priceless."  
_

I hear undeniable snapshots being taken and people are shoving me away from them as I stumble around. It takes a moment for Sai to fish through the crowd to reach me, but my then I'm on my knees trying to scrape shit from my mouth and clothes, though I should probably make a run for it. Hot tears raise in my eyes so sharply, that I can't tell if my nose is tingling from the clue that I'm about to sob or the stench.

_"Look at her! Damn I almost feel pity for the little shit."  
_

Sai helps me to my feet, but no one else is helping me pick the crap from my clothes. I look around for Karin and she's standing there with a hand on her hip and pursed lips.

I dive for the bitch.

Sai wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me away from her. "She's _not_ worth it! Fuck Ino she really isn't worth it!" he's struggling to get a hold of me but I'm clawing at his arms and trying to snatch Karin at the same time, a steady blue streak of curses spewing from my lips.

_"At least she's with her own kind now, get it? Trash?" _someone laughs at my right. I attempt to swing at the guy, but Sai is walking backwards down the steps with my in his arms trying to take me away from the fight.

Then she comes.

At first some students scrambled when they saw Kurenai coming up the stairs.

She looks right at me, our eyes making full contact. She smirks, covering her nose with the back of her wrist. "Don't you smell like skunk puke today, Yamanaka."

"Fuck you!" I scream, tearing out of Sai's arm for a second, but he quickly regains my arms before I can attack. She turns to face me completely, descending two steps to stand in front of me.

She slaps me clear across the face. This isn't some dramatic girly hit to the cheek, it's a man-strong backhand that almost shakes a tooth loose. "Don't you ever use that language with me again," she's pissed.

The crowd erupted with noise, all of their words bearing down on me. I hang my head for a second, but only to gather my spit.

When I lifted my head again, I hawked my spit at her face, aiming for her eye, but settle for her arched eyebrow and watch it slither down into her right eye.

"Oh, shit! Oh, shit!" Sai whispered heatedly, keeping his arms around me and dashing down the steps. I try to look back at her, but she's gone.

When I see her again, she has me by the hair. With all the force I could imagine, she gripped my neck also and threw me down, shrieking with rage. My jaw crashes into the cement and the side of my right eye skids across the edge.

_Fuck._

I struggle to look up and all I see are feet. One swings back like it's going to give me the kick of my life, but before it can connect with my forehead, I see a pale hand grip the ankle and shove it up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Sai says, his voice sweeping in and out of my ears, almost unheard from beneath the blaring ringing noise hitting my ears. Blood spills into my eye and I rush it off with my sleeve. I rush to my feet, feeling worse than woozy but better than fainting, my vision severely blurry in my left eye.

"Attack her again, and I crush your bone in my fist."

"You insolent-"

"_What is going on here?_" a voice booms, but Sai doesn't let go of her ankle, his eyes intense, dark.

"What? What the hell is this?" Tsunade shouts, at her rate she'll be the one to deafen me. She grabs Sai by the collar and Kurenai by the arm. "The fuck is this, I said."

"This student attacked me," Kurenai wipes my spit from her eye, shuddering.

Tsunade looks at me and obviously sees a law suit because a burst of curses spray out of her lips. "All three of you, my office now," she turns around to face the crowd. "Anyone who reports this to the ANBU Task Force will receive immediate, irreversible expulsion. Am I clear?"

Tsunade growls in my ear, "That means you, too," she wraps one arm around my waist and hoists me up.

* * *

"A student teacher came to get me. A fucking _student teacher_ who gets paid like shit with less authority than a five year teacher, and you don't have the common sense to do the same?" Tsunade sounds like a urge away from attacking Kurenai herself. Kurenai looks as if she wants to go toe-to-toe with the woman, but somehow finds the strength not to, she's chewing her lips in an aggressive, bloody action.

"Stop that." Tsunade ordered. "It's fucking disgusting."

I almost laugh, but then I remember the numb and burning simultaneous state of my jaw that feels like it's going to snap apart.

"You," she snaps her fingers at Sai who has a blank face on, "tell me what happened and for your sake it better be the truth."

"Kurenai-sensei spoke first. Kurenai-sensei attacked first."

"I like that. Straight to the point," Tsunade nods slowly. "Well, we might as well send this one home for the day with a trip to the nurse first."

"What?" Kurenai shouts and for a moment I feel like I have an adult on my side for once. Tsunade's quick to ruin that notion. "Shut up. I didn't say there wouldn't be punishment administrated. We punish both parties of a fight equally at Konohaguke Academy, but unluckily for you, Kurenai I'm one bias bitch."

"But, Tsunade-" she began, her black hair falling in front of her face as she rose suddenly.

"Out. _Out!_ All of you," Tsunade didn't wait for us to leave before hiking her feet on her table and popping open a bottle of sake, "hard of hearing? I said leave!"

I let Kurenai and Sai go ahead of me and stick close to Sai until Kurenai is out of sight.

"That was dumb of you, Ino." Sai says.

"Dumb?" I shout. "Did you see what they did to me? You saw!"

He sighs. "I thought you were better than that. The day when she splashed water on you, you were the better person. I like _that_ Ino."

"Well life's tough," I try to say, but with my muscles bruised and aching, it sounds like random garble.

"This is serious, Ino," Sai knows I said some clever quip probably because of my eyes rolling. "You could get in real trouble."

"Sof? Ed be-be glash to gef outta her."

"Save your energy," Sai sighs, "Look, I'll take you to the nurse and take you home."

"Yuf don neid to."

"I want to."

"Donf."

He grins. "You're welcome."

I glare at him, but on the inside it's like a burst of sunlight peering out of cloudy skies. I nudge him for affection with my shoulder, but he thinks I'm about to faint. He crouches in front of me. "Here, I'll just carry you."

He didn't have to tell me twice.

* * *

**Thanks so, so much for reading! Please remember to review, I love reading them and they inspire me to write more ;)!**


	3. Good Surprises, Bad Surprises

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews! I appreciate reading them. I'm glad many of you like Sai's character and the chapters I've written. I took out the prologue since it was kind of confusing. **

**Enjoy. **

* * *

**:::Hello Kitty:::**

**There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and statistics.**

**-Mark Twain**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Good Surprises, Bad Surprises, Surprises That Make You Want To Scream**

_Dear Diary,_

Life sucks without friends.

—Ino.

I quickly cross that out, then tore out the page and flushed it down the toilet. Who needs _friends _and _boyfriends_ and _girlfriends _or any of that relationship title shit?

No one. That's who.

Fuck who you want to and be happy without ties that's what I say. The morning I swore myself off of friends and people, forever trapped in the isolation and solace of my room, Sai came over.

"Why are you so sweaty?" I scowled at him from inside the house. "Hell, you're sweating like a pedophile in a nursery."

"Look, just because your 'boyfriend' stabbed you in the heart and your best friend stabbed you in the back, doesn't mean I'm packing knives," he growled, then smiled: "And you're about as pleasant as a bitch in heat."

I crack a smile and cross my arms. "Fuck you, man."

"Only if you're fucking me," he winks.

"Is your pillow talk always this charming?" I roll my eyes.

"No, I save the best for you," he smiles.

"Alright, alright," I open the door wider. "Come on in."

He steps in and looks around, nodding as if he were confirming a previous thought. I look around the plain living room, furniture sparse and surrounded by flowers in an attempt to make it look intentional. I kick an empty bottle of rum under the worn couch, "What?" I ask accusingly.

"Nothing, it's nice," he said. I look closer for any signs of pity or condescension, but he's clean. I stick my tongue in my cheek and cluck my tongue, "Well, what're you here for?"

"Can't I mingle with fellow prisoner of suspension?"

My eyes blow wide. "They suspended you too?"

"Kurenai said I was being aggressive," he says nonchalantly, "Plus school would be shit without you."

"You really mean that?"

"Hell no," he smiles as if he gave me a compliment.

"Fuck you," I say again.

"I know you want to," he smirks.

I don't answer him; I just hop on the couch. "Take a seat."

He sits at the edge of the couch, next to my socked feet. "Want a foot rub?"

I stare at him. "What?"

"Well if you don't want one—"

"Yes!" I'm overjoyed, my feet still hurt from running home yesterday, then running around the whole block just to get the steam out. Plus my wounds still brought me down with every movement, making me slower than usual. I clear my throat. "Yes, I'd like a foot rub."

He begins to rub my feet. "So…Sasuke came up to me today."

I nearly kick him in the jaw as I sat up abruptly. "What? What?! Since when?!"

"Um…I said today, didn't I?—"

"What did he talk about?"

"Desperate much?" he laughs. I give him a small kick, and he says: "He just wants to know why I protected you like that."

"And?" I ask when silence crosses him.

"That's it."

"Well what did he say?" I ask, dying on the inside to hear what else this bastard had to say about me.

"He asked if I liked you, too," Sai went on, "but about the protection thing, I told him it was instinct. I said you were my friend."

I collapse back into the couch with a sigh, "What did he say to that?" Great. Now Sasuke will work on Sai never speaking to me again the way he did Sakura last year. Crap. Crap. Crap!

"Hn. That's literally all he said. 'Hn' then he walked off with Neji," his eyes lit up, "and he called me a little shit."

"Why?"

"Because I asked him if he was jealous."

I thought my eyes would jump out of his sockets. I love this kid. "You did?"

"Yup, and he called me a little shit. That's when he asked me if I liked you."

"Genius. You're a genius, you know that?"

He started rubbing my feet again, a huge smile on his lips. "Yeah, I know."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, Karin's after you."

I groan. "Tell me something new. Kurenai's her fucking bitch. Of course she's after me."

"No, I mean like…" he uses his thumb to go across his neck, "Seriously."

"Whatever, for all I care, she can go fuck herself."

"Or Kurenai," a coy smile on his lips, "she's sleeping with her."

I sit up again, clutching his shirt. "No shit! Are you serious?"

"As a fucking heart attack," he looks as if he's about to burst into laughter. "It was obvious from the get-go. I thought everyone knew."

The doorbell rang.

"Keep that thought. Keep that fucking thought, okay?" I'm bursting with smiles. I'm wary to open the door after hearing Karin's planning murder, but somehow that didn't bother me when I opened the door and Mrs. Uchiha threw herself on me, sobbing.

"How could they?" she sounded outraged.

"You know I got suspended?" I was surprised. Sasuke must've told her.

"I overheard Sasuke and his friends talking about it. That bitch Karin—" she gasped at her language and cleared her throat immediately, "—I mean, Karin, is planning something else even more terrible since you got Kurenai in trouble."

"I know," thumbing Sai, "he told me all about it."

"What's he doing here?!" Mrs. Uchiha shooed me out of her way, making him stand up, "Does your mother know you brought a boy home?"

"I technically didn't _bring_ him home, he came over, and—"

"And you let him in?" she looked horrified, "Smart, real smart Ino."

"He's not a rapist."

"So you think."

"What? I'm not a rapist!" Sai exclaimed.

"I'll take care of this Ino; go straight to my house, alright?"

"Um….I'm grounded," I lied.

"This is a bit of an emergency, don't you think?" she took my wrist and basically kicked me out of my own house. "Straight away to my house, go on."

I threw a glance back at Sai who looked as if he thought he was about to be castrated. The door shut after me and I made my way to Sasuke's house.

I opened the door and all the chatter floating around stops.

Neji is the first to snap his attention to me. My heart stops when I saw the first glimpse of red hair, and barely let it go when I realize Sakura dyed her hair—more like died her hair because she looks terrible with blood red hair.

I keep that to myself.

Sasuke won't even look at me, but Sakura says: "Ino" like it's a curse. "What are you doing here?"

"His mom told me to come here."

"Fucking liar," Sakura hisses. "I bet you made up some sob story for her to send you over here. We're having a _private _meeting—"

I walk past her.

"You bitch!" She bolts up and what yesterday's kick ass taught me was to attack first and never stop. I lunge at her, grabbing a fistful of her hair, twisting it tight.

But I can't bring myself to punch her.

Hell, I don't even _want_ to.

"Let go of me!" she claws at my hand, tearing the skin open. I don't let go, but I can't attack. I tried thinking she was Karin, not the girl I grew up, my old best friend.

She kicks my knee in and I nearly fall to the floor from the blow. She's a hell of a lot stronger than when we were friends. She cracks her knuckles and makes a fist, but the door swings open.

"Ino are you okay?" Sasuke's mother rushes in.

"Ino are you okay?" Sai parrots, letting himself into her house to swoop me off my feet. Literally.

"What are_ you_ doing here?" Sasuke and his mother hiss at the same time.

"I thought I just told you—" She begins, but stops herself. She shakes her head, changing the topic when I groan, "Well, what are you waiting for Ino, are you okay or what?"

Fuck, do I look okay?

I'm pretty sure she crushed my knee cap. I hold onto it tight, trying to keep the pieces together at the same time trying not to bawl like a spoiled brat. Pretty tough to do, considering this girl kicks like a truck crashing into a bed of clovers.

"What happened?" Sasuke's mother asks Sasuke. Real concern has replaced the contempt for Sai.

"I won't lie to you," is a lie in itself, "I hit her."

What?

"You did what?" she looked as if he just threw her fine China against the wall, screaming curses, and slapped his grandmother. But I was just as shocked as her.

She pulled him aside roughly, "What were you thinking?"

"I just acted," speaking of acting he was a pretty damn good actor. "I-I didn't mean to, you know that, Ino?" he was just shy of winking.

These assholes don't fight fair.

I don't rat out Sakura or Sasuke on their crimes. I just manage to curl up to Sai, and he takes the hint to take me out of there.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke's mother asks.

"She's much safer in her house than you thought. She wasn't here longer than a minute, and look what happened. That's fucked up and you know it."

I'm shocked anyone could speak that way to Mrs. Uchiha and be able to walk out the door in one piece. But Sai did it.

"Have I ever told you how many times I've contemplated suicide?"

"Only about a thousand times," he growls, "with your eyes."

"Don't get deep on me," I wave away the sentiment rushing through my heart.

He cracks a smirk. "That's what she said."

I relax against him, trying to ignore the pain and pretend we're together. Not like I could be more than friends with him. I know I'd just end up causing him a lot of unnecessary shit.

He lays me back on the couch. He goes off to wrap ice in a cloth. "This is going to hurt. Like a lot—"

I'm screaming already.

He wasn't even kidding. The pressure of the ice alone made me want to chop the whole thing off knowing it'd be hell to walk for the days ahead. When the cooling sensation from the ice starts, the burning mess in my leg starts up.

"I hate that I'm owing you so much," I haven't forgotten what he did for me yesterday for an instance.

"I got the tallies."

"Of course you do."

"Rest now, I'm right here."

I want to keep talking to him. I want him to tell me it'll get better from now on. I want him to hold me, or something. Instead, I just fall asleep praying I don't snore like a pig.

* * *

**"You snore like a pig," **Ma pokes my head the moment I come to.

"Sai?" I look around, my vision blurry and my mind slowed.

"What?" Ma asked, changing my ice pack.

"Sai, is Sai here?"

"Don't go delusional on me," she mutters with a hint of panic, feeling my head, "What's a Sai?"

"It's a who, Ma," I sit up, but not enough to upset my knee. "I'm surprised you didn't come cursing up a storm when you saw me."

"That's because Mrs. Uchiha told me ahead of time she accidently hurt you and is willing to pay for the expenses," Ma yawned, "plus other things."

"What other things did she tell you?"

"No, I mean she'll pay for other things. Just things," Ma swooped her blonde hair back, and leaned over before laying next to me. "You know….you ruined my date night."

"Sorry I got hurt Ma, let me give you a warning in advanced next time."

"Fuck off. I mean this whole thing with the school and whatnot and Kakashi won't even give me the time of day now."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaatttt?

"K-kakashi?!" I can barely blurt his name out.

"Yeah, you know him?" she says, judging my face through squinted eyes.

"Know him?!" _he's my fucking teacher _"More like he controls my History grade is what!"

"Oh," she says nonchalantly, "he's your teacher? That's funny."

"What's funny is why he thinks you're young enough to date him."

She clutches my arm like she's about to shove me off the couch, but she remembers my knee just in time. She glares for a second, then is all smiles, "He thinks I'm fucking 24."

The joke died instantly.

"He does?" I try to control the surprise in my tone, "How do you even know him?"

"He got flowers for his friend's grave and we hit it off," she shrugs, leaning into me. "Nothing too weird," she yawns.

My mom's dating my teacher and that's nothing weird?

"Okay. What's really going on?"

"What! I told you the truth….fine! _Fine!_ Okay. We got drunk together and for a few days we thought I got pregnant."

"_You fucked my teacher?!"_ jumps out before I can catch it.

"Ino! Language!" she says, all horrified as if she didn't teach me all the swears in and out of the book. She's blushing like a school girl meeting her favorite super star, "Yeah, we did a few things…but the good news is that you're still an only kid."

"Good to know, Ma, good to freaking know."

Man, I hate surprises.

And today wouldn't stop being full of them.

"So, how'd your knee really get hurt?"

"No changing the subject!" I practically shout. "You can't just pull a fast one on me like that, Ma, you really can't!"

"What do you want to know?" she sighs like she's been waiting for the day to tell me about this secret boyfriend.

"For starters, how deep are your feelings?"

She's quiet for a moment. "We care about each other."

"Yeah, uh-huh, how much?"

"Not like to die for, but more than just friends, you know?" she talks to me one-on-one like I'm supposed to understand this trippy shit.

"How long have you been together?"

"Eight months officially. Three months since the pregnancy scare," she says quickly, "Now about that knee—"

"Oh no, you don't!" I refuse to accept this so easily, "I thought you were as a dry as a stone and now all of a sudden you've been getting it on with my History teacher?"

"Be quiet," she spits, "It's not like we got married and abandoned you. Plus, he doesn't even know I have a kid. Especially not one from his class."

"Well that's obvious or he would've figured out your _real _age!"

"I could've had you when I was…six years old…"

"Now you're just creepy."

"Look, I don't know what to do!" she whines, wrapping one arm around me and pulling me close like I'm a talking teddy bear. "He's too good to give up, but it won't be long until….until I have to tell him. So far I've been dodging it, but with you being the target of every bitch at school, it'll be sooner than I thought. Now about that knee."

"Sakura kicked me," I say honestly, unlike that jerk Sasuke.

Ma snorts a laughter, "What is she, five? Why'd she do that?"

"I grabbed her hair—"

"What? Why?"

"She came at me!" I exclaim. "She practically gunned for me!" I groan. "You should see her hair—"

"I did. It looks like she slapped a bloody tampon on her head."

We burst into laughter and suddenly, life doesn't seem like this inescapable black hole after all.

"Who's this Sai kid?" Ma asks. "You were muttering about him when you woke up."

"Oh," I try to choose my words carefully. "He's just someone at my school."

"Partner project?"

"Try the only one at school who doesn't want me dead."

"So he's a friend?"

I try not to smile like a goof. "Yeah, I guess."

Ma breaks into song: "Sai and Ino sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love then-"

I plugged my ears, making it seem like I couldn't hear her, "Coming from the thirty-four year old woman dating a guy who's twenty-eight!" I cry out.

She just kept singing.

Then I realize, "Hey Ma, how come you're okay with all this, but not Sasuke's mom?"

"What about his mom?"

"Why does she want Sasuke and I together again?"

She shrugs. "Ask her. Who do I look like, some rich woman who lives in a giant house with a intelligently gifted child?" she laughs.

"You envy her don't you?"

"Every day."

* * *

**3:30 am**

**"Ino," **someone's shaking my shoulder like that's going to make me open my eyes and talk to them at such an unholy hour.

"Ino, Ino, Ino, Ino, Ino, Ino, Ino, Ino, Ino—"

For goodness's sake, is that: "Sai? Sai what do you want? I'm—"

"Sleeping, I know."

"Then why are you here now?"

Even in the dark, though I can't see him, I can hear him smile. "I can't sleep."

"What? Why?" I mumble.

Now he sounds nervous. "You try having a masked man break into your house and go back to sleep."

I sit up now, my eyes wild. I look around for Ma, but she left me on the couch and went to sleep in her room. I whisper, "What happened?"

"I was just kidding. I couldn't sleep 'cause I was bored," he chuckles. I attack him with a flurry of sleepy hits. "And—_and _because I wanted to check on you. Part of me knew you wouldn't change this bandage."

"Sai…" I try not to sound all sappy and harden my voice as he changes the bandage. "Dude, you know my mom's here if she sees you. She's going to—"

"Freak out?" the light turns on, blinding me, but I know its Ma's voice.

Shitfuckofalltheshitinthewor ldtohappentomedamnit!

* * *

**Please don't forget to review. And thank you for reading! **


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